Betreff: [linux-bern] WG: Computers in Movies
Datum: Mon, 25 Jan 1999 16:33:35 +0100 (CET)
Von: Remo.Goetschi@ascom.ch
An: linux-bern@icemark.ch

>> Computers in Movies
>>
>> Author Unknown
>>
>>    1.Word processors never display a cursor.
>>    2.You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
>>    3.Movie character never make typing mistakes.
>>    4.All monitors display inch-high letters.
>>    5.High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or
>>      some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand
>>      graphical interfaces. Those that don't, have incredibly powerful
>>      text-bases command shells that can correctly understand and
>>      execute commands typed in plain english.
>>    6.Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply
>>      typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
>>    7.Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by
>> simply
>>      typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see "Fortress").
>>    8.All computers are connected. You can access the information on the
>>      villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
>>    9.Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the
>>      screen changes.
>>   10.Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it
>>      doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones
>>      also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.
>>   11.All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just
>>      underneath the surface.
>>   12.Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a
>> shower
>>      of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backwards.
>>   13.People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the
>> data.
>>   14.A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world
before
>>
>>      intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
>>   15.Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function
>>      (see "Demolition Man" and countless others).
>>   16.Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be
>>      accomplished in under three seconds.
>>   17.Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two
>>      gigabytes per second.
>>   18.When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the
control
>>
>>      panels will explode, as will the entire building.
>>   19.If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it
>>      also disappears from the screen (e.g. Clear and Present Danger).
>>   20.If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for
>>      a password when you try to access it.
>>   21.No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any
>>      system you put it into.
>>   22.All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
>>   23.The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has (Aliens).
>>      However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the
>>      buttons aren't labeled.
>>   24.Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying, three-
>>      dimensional, active animation, photo-realistic graphics capability.
>>   25.Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing
>>      real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a
>>      CRAY Supercomputer.
>>   26.Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that
>>      it projects itself onto his/her face (see "Alien", "2001").
>>   27.Searches on the internet will always return what you are looking
>>      for no matter how vague your keywords are.
>>      (See "Mission Impossible", Tom Cruise searches with keywords
>>      like "file" and "computer" and 3 results are returned.)
